I said it was fire

You said it was nothing

I’m scared that It’s hard

For you to be loving

Somebody like me

With my fears in the rafters

Not sure what I’ve done here

To deserve all the laughter

I said I was trying

You know that’s the truth

But there’s so much I learn

Just by staring at you

I was clinging to pain

Like it was part of myself

I was proud of how little

I would do for my health

I was drunk in Wisconsin

You were learning to dance

Making magic of things

That just slip through my hands

As I headed to Denver

I was shedding my skin

I didn’t think I was supposed to be lovable then

…

I went to the park

And I sat by the ducks

As they dove in the water

And I thought about us

I don’t wanna own you

You deserve to be free

But when you have the time

You can share it with me

And even when I don’t see you

And you’re out in the world

I’m sure that it’s beautiful

Beautiful girl

Your head with a halo

In a country of pain

Where lying is normal

So we don’t have to change

I count what I love here

All the beautiful names

magnolias in autumn

And the warmth in your face

I would move across the country for you

Spend all of my money for you

Guess I just forgot along the way

I was looking like I saw a ghost

I got lost round Alamo

And almost drove my car right off the street

It was some bullshit bout society

and how I’m scared It’s choking me

But staring at a mirror within myself

If I die young

I know its not the pain the frees me

The wayward son

And all the time hid from his feelings

The glowing light inside my chest

As I sit quiet in the evening

There goes the shame

There goes my name

And all that’s left is just a chance to start again

I coulda said it was a Steinbeck kick

But I was just acting like a little kid

Stare it in the eyes say what it is

It was fear that I would lose control

And have to feel responsible

For everyone I’ve hurt along this road

So I close my eyes a little bit

Cause I don’t wanna just forget

That you help me remember why I’m here

So If I die young

I know its not the pain the frees me

The wayward son

And all the time hid from his feelings

The glowing light inside my chest

As I sit quiet in the evening

There goes the shame

There goes my name

And all that’s left is just a chance to start again

And so I stared at my work

God I made it my church

Till I forgot the beauty of a heart that can hurt

Yeah I forgot the fullness of a heart that can hurt

If I die young

I know its not the pain the frees me

The wayward son

And all the time hid from his feelings

The glowing light inside my chest

As I sit quiet in the evening

There goes the shame

There goes my name

And all that’s left is just a chance to start again

It’s that down home, feel good, aching in my ribs

It’s the hometown bar that’s full till 2 am

It’s the minimum wage

It’s the sun in my face

It’s the year of the ox and I just thought that more would’ve changed

It’s the rhinestone cowboys hiding from our shame

It’s the god they gave us and what they said he costs

It’s how none of this stops

It’s the way we were taught

It’s a chorus of angels that are walking away from the job

It’s how none of this stops

It’s the way you read the room before you speak

It’s the things you saw at 7 as you stared at the tv

It’s the weight of the love

That I’m not worthy enough

It’s that way that you cover a heart when you’re tryna be tough

It’s the weight of the love

But it’s the stubborn hope at the end of all the pain

It’s the living and the breathing that it takes to finally change

It’s the only thing real

It’s the power to heal

It’s the holiest thing in the world that you’re able to steal

I first left my body

When I was just 15

Staring at the stars, from the backseat of the car

Till I was staring back at me

Sure I coulda told my father

But he wouldn’t understand

Cause I was too old, to still not know

Guess I just couldn’t find a chance

So if I want salvation

Do I have to burn myself

In some sort of holy fire

Till I wake up someone else

Somewhere In Alaska

I felt that fever burn

Saw my body flicker

Guess I sorta figured

That I’d just slowly disappear

I could barely buy my dinner

I could barely even sleep

I was knocking doors for money

Half believing when I’d speak

So if I want salvation

Do I have to burn myself

In some sort of holy fire

Till I wake up someone else

Say I was not born with a curse in the blood

If being human feels evil, its the culture that’s fucked

I have made myself so small, and god for what?

I was drowning way before I felt the flood

So if I want salvation,

I’m not gunna hide my face

It’s the way I love that kills me

But it might just be what saves me in the end

When I first left my body

I was just 15

Staring at the stars from the backseat of the car

Till I was staring back at me

Tell me what you want from me

Honestly, Honestly

We can start there, just swear that you will talk to me

Talk to me, Talk to me

Swear that you will talk to me

We can get through feeling scared If you will talk to me

Though I’m leaving for the side of the moon

And it’s so easy to leave so soon

I’m just sick of all this lying

I’m just sick of all this lying to myself

If I want anything real

It’ll take time to feel something

If I want anything real

It’ll take time to feel something

Quicker than heartbeats, Quicker than heartbeats

Add up all the time that we have wasted feeling lonely

Looking at the sky, but thinking of a mistake

Living in my mind isn’t cutting it these days

Monday, Tuesday just ran through me

So I got high and I watched a movie

The credits rolled and it was over

I sat there now mostly sober

Yeah I sat there now mostly sober

But If I want anything real

It’ll take pain to feel something

If I want anything real

It’ll take pain to feel something

Tell me what you want from me

Honestly, Honestly

We can start there, just swear that you will talk to me

Talk to me, Talk to me

Swear that you will talk to me

We can get through feeling scared If you will talk to me

Though I’m making all these plans

For all these places just understand

I’m trying to do all that I can

I’m trying to be all that I can

But If I want anything real

I gotta stand still to feel something

If I want anything real

I gotta stand still to feel something

If I want anything real

It’ll take some time to feel something

If I want anything real

I gotta face some pain to feel something

Commitment issues, is that an issue

Are you really gonna make me have to say I’ll miss you

Commitment issues, is that an issue

Are you really gonna make me have to say I’ll miss you

Oh I’ll miss you, I’ll miss you, I’ll miss you

So tell me what you want from me

Honestly, Honestly

We can start there, just swear that you will talk to me

Talk to me, Talk to me

Swear that you will talk to me

We can get through feeling scared If you will talk to me

I think I’m getting sick of playing video games

Running outta ways I can forget my name

Is it April is it March

We’re just running in the dark

I didn’t think It’d hurt so much to watch the world fall apart but

Here’s to the parts of me I wanna hide

Here’s to the parts of me I thought I’d left behind

I don’t wanna get sick

But I don’t wanna stay inside

I don’t wanna have you see me as I lose my mind

I went to buy groceries

And I saw the police

They didn’t even look me in the eyes

How can i hope that they would help me

Help me, help me, who is gonna help me

They look just as scared of all this sickness that's around me

So it it May or is it June

I guess my birthdays coming soon

I've been looking at the world and wondering what we're gunna do like

Here's to the parts of us we wanna hide

Here's to the parts of us we thought we'd left behind

I don't wanna build a world that tries to make us less kind

Its gonna look a little different by the day we die

Cause I'm sick of waiting, hoping, that our savior is a president

I wanna build something that lasts and doesn't have a precedent

I'm scared of the past, but I'm tryna let that go

The only way to believe we can change is prove it so, so

Here's to the parts of us we wanna hide

Here's to the parts of us we thought we'd left behind

I don't wanna build a world that tries to make us less kind

Its gonna look a little different by the day we die

I know there’s danger

I’m not a stranger to it

I know there’s parts of me that I was taught are better to hide

I’m tryna find them

I wanna climb out

I wanna make sure these are my words from my mouth

And there’s something that I know now

But it always just gets choked down

It feels faded, but I’m searching for it hours after sundown

We’re in the thick of it

Goodness it’s such a predicament

But you bring me down, back to the now

And you’re making tea

Cinnamon

Cause I’m still thinking ‘bout the moon

And how I haven’t dreamt in four weeks

Guess that I just couldn’t find the time

We’ll be getting soon to all the places we are going

Just stay patient with the moment as it flys away

Yeah it’s getting away and it’s dangerous dangerous

Looking for the cameras, tryna watch my language

The world is in a stage, yeah I know that now

But my minds still running when the lights go out

We’re in the thick of it

Goodness it’s such a predicament

But you bring me down, back to the now

And you’re making tea

Cinnamon

Cause there was danger all around you back when you were born

It was swirling all around you like a big ol’ storm

First you tried hiding from it

Then you tried fighting it

Somehow now you seem to find a lightness in it

Cause who we gonna trust is it the beauty or the anger

Who we gonna trust in this world full of strangers

If we can change our mind any time that we choose

Do you wanna feel together or alone in this room

Cause there was beauty all around you back when you were born

It’s still swirling all around you like a big ol’ storm

First you tried hiding from it

Then you tried fighting it

All that’s left to do is find the lightness in it

We’re in the thick of it

Goodness it’s such a predicament

But you bring me down, back to the now

And you’re making tea

Cinnamon

I see the same things but I see them changing

It’s hard to look at all I know and watch as it’s just fading

Counting off the buckshot, another cowboy daydream

Screaming off the balcony I’m fine but meaning save me

I see the struggle here see the time spent

Wasted on so many things we’ll wonder where the time went

How’d you get so positive, I barely got home

I’m sure there is love that’s all around, but tonight I don’t know

All of these kids with all of these phones

We’re all so busy but feel so alone

All of these kids with all of these phones

We’re all so busy we’re all so busy

All of these kids with all of these phones

We’re all so busy but feel so alone

All of these kids with all of these phones

We’re all so busy we’re all so busy we’re all so busy

What have we forgotten what have we left broken

That instead of talking through we just said we were joking

Maybe we’re getting better maybe I’m just hoping

I’m not sure I have the time to wait for where we’re going

Maybe that’s the problem, maybe that’s the easy way

Spending our life staring off at something that is miles away

Everything’s a memory, or it is the moment

Nothing else will matter here when all of this is over

All of these kids with all of these phones

We’re all so busy but feel so alone

All of these kids with all of these phones

We’re all so busy we’re all so busy

All of these kids with all of these phones

We’re all so busy but feel so alone

All of these kids with all of these phones

We’re all so busy we’re all so busy we’re all so busy

I’ve been meditating but I’ve been drinking shower beers

America Needs Therapy to do more than just make it through the year

I’ve been meditating but I’ve been drinking shower beers

America Needs Therapy to do more than just make it through the year

Yeah the whole world’s caving in and I’m not not sure how it’ll end

With a bang or a flash or a bill that gets passed by some men

Still I’m allowed to feel happy, I’m allowed to feel fine

I don’t need to feel guilty all of the time

I know that I’m trying I know that I care

And I’m learning I’m learning I’m learning I swear

Cause they don’t want us to change anything

They want us to hate

And the time that we spend bickering

Is just time they have money to make

So we’re allowed to feel happy, we’re allowed to feel fine

It doesn’t help just feeling guilty all of the time

Yeah I know that we’re trying I know that we care

So we’re learning we’re learning we’re learning I swear

Oh I swear